The Ludmila Confessions

Me and Walter at the cabaret show

Just a few days later, we were in a hotel making love, when Walter started smoking something that didn’t smell like regular tobacco. He offered some to me, but I didn’t like it because it made me feel stupid and dull.  He just watched me with curiosity. Then he said, “This hotel is not for us, how about moving to the nice apartment with me?”

So I moved again, for the same reason. I did not know at the time that his wife was either in Europe or New York every time we were living together. The new place was small but very cozy, with big windows and a view of the city. I loved the twinkling lights, maybe because that was the present I had known for a long time. Christmas lights in December always seemed to me that they were to celebrate my birthday, the town lit up especially for me!

Walter told me, “Dress up tomorrow, we will celebrate your cumpleaños! I’ll pick you up at 8pm after I close the liquor store.” I innocently asked, “Where we are going?” He replied, “It’s a surprise.” That night we arrived at La Belle Epoque, en elegant French restaurant. We sat at the bar for the cocktails, then they showed us to the most beautiful semi-private room with candles on the table and a bottle of champagne. Walter said, after pouring some champagne into my crystal goblet, “Happy birthday, chuchi!” (I called him puchi, he called me chuchi.) “Hope you have many more!” As I raised my goblet, there under the cap was a gold bracelet with morocotas (gold coins) of 5 Bolivares, a solid 18 carats. The whole atmosphere was perfectly charming and romantic, with violins playing, an incredible dinner course, and all the staff saying “Happy Birthday!” Then of course arrived the big birthday cake with cognac and candles and everyone singing happy birthday to me. It truly felt like a magic night as it was the first time in my whole life that I had a celebration for my birthday, and I was flying! “We’ll go home for the moment, I need more cigarettes,” he said, “esta bien,” I said.

When we arrived home there were flowers on the table and in a small glass container there was a white powder. Walter served me a scotch and soda and helped himself. We sat down at the table, then he took the small container and with a tiny little spoon that was in his pocket, dabbed it in the powder and inhaled, saying “Remember we spoke about cocaine? Well, this is it, just to pep you up, no harm, you’ll see! Like this…would you like to try it?” So I did, but nothing out of this world happened like with the other stuff I smoked. So we went back out to dance, going to the most exotic private cabarets and nightclubs. In one of them, we sat up in a private balcony, so we could sniff some more of that magic powder.

We danced until the early morning, and then went to the Tamanaco Hotel, where all the party people went to sleep before sunrise… Or some of us to work.