The Ludmila Confessions

Ludmila on the set with Charlton Heston and Jessica Walters: “Ready for your closeup, Miss Alexanova?”

In Caracas, once upon a time, I remember seeing a film with Marcello Mastroianni and Anita Ekberg called “La Dolce Vita.” Well, that movie exactly portrayed my life back then, even when I was working: In and out of love, a life of romance, sex, cocaine, alcohol, even orgies– just like the movie. It was not just a dream: The modeling jobs, parties, commercials, shows and more parties, photographers and yet more parties. My life was “La Dolce Vita” back and forth from New York to Hawaii to Europe to South America to USA– my life was not boring for a second. I did not know what boredom was, nor do I know it to this day. Life was just a big non-stop party.

My dreams in that Porlamar swing, where I spent hours when I was allowed, sometimes until the night, inventing the world, touching the skies with the height of the swing, higher and higher– creating and shaping my dream into reality. My inquisitive eyes drew the world of my desires, bringing thousands of questions into my mind. I was sure the answers were there in Hollywood, so far away that it seemed my dreams were hiding from me, too far to reach from there in my swing, but inside me the dreams were real.

Bill Cosby and Ludmila

I dreamed that someday, with a hidden treasure inside of me, I will be there, I will show them that I am a star, so brilliant, because I was born with the grace that God gave me,and I will reach the other stars of Hollywood.

My hope was fed by those dreams that seemed so real to me, in a secret compartment of my heart, knowing that my destiny was closer than those stars shining over my head. When I finally traced my destiny to Hollywood, I was given a role in a film called “Number One,” starring Charlton Heston, my dear! He was a big big star! How many times had I seen him on the big screen, playing biblical roles and other parts. He flirted with me, but that was all, he seemed to be faithful to his wife, even though she was not there in the studio spying on him, like some of the other actors’ wives did.

As we were shooting, in came the great actress, Jessica Walters. She played a big role in the film. Later, Bill Cosby, the comedian, came onto the set, but I did not like him too much. He was pretentious and very arrogant, not funny at all, but at that time he was very good looking and had good manners.
I did not have to name the stars in the sky anymore, and I did not need to sit on a swing to try to reach them and give them names: They were all here in Hollywood! The unreachable stars were within the reach of my hand! I don’t remember exactly what went through my mind, but I know that I felt my wings stretch out and that I flew like a bird again.  It’s true that my part was small, but my star was growing bigger and bigger, as I had always known it would.

I was in and out of the Beverly Hills Hotel for cocktails, dancing at Halloween balls in great costumes that some of the studios were kind enough to lend or rent to us. These costume parties were almost as good as the Oscars parties at that time is what I imagine.

I had lunch at the Brown Derby with Peter and Joan Graves. To be honest, I don’t remember if we even ate, but I know that we drank and drank until we ended up at his trailer in the studio where all three of us had fun together, and of course more drinks. Now, looking back all those fantastic different men, there are only two that I remember as having been good lovers.

The next Christmas, I was invited to Dean Martin’s house. I just loved him ever since he and Jerry Lewis made all those great road trip movies, very funny films. Dean was a straight man and Jerry the real damie, funny indeed, something like Bob Hope on “The Road to Hong Kong” with Dorothy Lamour. I had always dreamt of meeting all of them, and eventually I did, sooner or later, through close friends or  acquaintances from parties. I think Dorothy was already gone by the 1960s when I arrived to Hollywood.