The Ludmila Confessions

Ludmila`s business face

Before going any further, I need to explain that in my story,  the love, passion, romance, pleasure and pain, and sexual experiences are all part of life as it came day by day. As I am writing this story, I again come face to face with myself, fifty years later. Of course, it has taken half a century for me to become who I was meant to be. You may say, how sad it is to have to wait until that age!  But no, it is not too late for me; I only started really living seven years ago when my friends convinced me to sit down and write out  all my stories. I had had so many excuses– I can’t spell properly, I am not a professional writer, I was never really educated. But in the end, my survival instinct took over and God told me to sit down and do it!

Jose, Jose and Jose

My husband Jack sent me to Monterrey, Mexico to collect the money that the men who bought our music business had neglected to pay us for a long time. Jack’s real business was selling music internationally through this company “Music Industries.” It was only a
couple of thousand dollars; he sent me not only because I speak Spanish but also because of my boldness and charm.

On the plane from L.A. to Chihuahua, there was a layover of five hours before I could fly on to my destination, Monterrey. Sitting next to me was this very elegant, good looking Mexican man with big black eyelashes. He was tall with jet black hair, the real picture of an Aztec warrior,  “puro Indio” as they say. But he introduced himself gently and politely, apologizing for his poor condition, which I did not see at all. “Senora , please call me Jose”. We had a drink and he asked me if I heard of a special drink, a glass of beer with little shot glass full of tequila inside. It  has to be drunk slowly, he explained, to mix them together. In this way you have the real appreciation of the drink. “No,” I replied. Jose’s next question was, “Have you heard the song Feelings? please tell me what it means, because of my poor English I don’t understand this song!”

Ludmila and one of the Joses

And so by the time we arrived in Chihuahua he had me wrapped around his finger! He suggested that we refresh ourselves before I continued on my journey, and he went back to his Ranch to die of this incurable disease! We had our drinks and he suggested we rest, but of course not in the way you might think! Soon we were engaged in passionate lovemaking, an unbelievable and fantastic experience. Ahua!

He was one man that was very hard to forget, but I had to proceed on my journey so flew off to Monterrey, where I arrived, still slightly drunk, in the wee hour of the morning.
The music business lawyer was awaiting my arrival at the airport, and he introduced himself as Sr. Licenciado Maldonado Rodriguez Penal. But then he said, “Please Señora call me by my first name, Jose.”  Great, another Jose! The memory of Jose the first was still very fresh, so I could not help but give a big smile. Soon we arrived at this very elegant hotel, and since it was very late I said, Senor Rodriguez, I’ll see you manana (tomorrow), I’m too tired to discuss business now. I went up to my large suite singing “Feelings” to myself.

At 9 am sharp, the phone rang: “Senora, are you ready to have breakfast and deal with signing the papers, so I can get you your money as soon as possible?” I said, “Yes, I would appreciate that… but Jose, why don’t you just come upstairs and we can work here in my room, instead of that crowded breakfast room. I went down there to stretch my legs and came right back, because there were so many business men with dark suits and black briefcases. I was so crowded and noisy, and I have a slight headache! Is that okay with you?” He agreed, and I told him I would order breakfast for two and maybe some drinks. I dialed room service and said “I’d like a couple of Bloody Marys, yes. Please hurry with the order and bring some Alka Seltzer”!

Well, we drank more than we ate, and I signed some papers, which took the form of an endorsement of the bad check they had given Jack. Then I could go to the bank that day or the next, and I would get not just $2,000 but $3,500 to cover the interest and charges. This made me very happy, of course, and I proposed that we celebrate by listening to some music that I liked– “Feelings”! He went out and came back with a cassette player and some tapes, and with the music and the drinks, nature took its course. He stayed with me all that night. He was not as handsome or good as the other Jose, he was just there. The next morning we went to the bank and I got my money; before I left, he bought me a gold pendant that said “Love.”

I don’t claim that I was a moral woman by anybody’s standards, I just did what an animal would do. That is not an excuse, it is simply truth, a fact that I have to confront within myself and in front of God, no one else.