The Ludmila Confessions

We moved out of the hotel, after a week or ten days. Jose moved with us also, into the condo that the insurance company put us in. Soon things took a very wild turn! There were pool tables, a big swimming pool, plenty of room and of course lots of time to drink and take drugs. Whenever Jack went to work, Jose and I started playing around and going nuts. I thought we were just having lots of fun, but most of the time I was numb and unconscious of what was really happening.

One evening Daud invited me out to have a talk, and as we were seated at a table, not far away I noticed that at the bar there was this big fantastic looking man. It was Johnny Weissmuller– Tarzan, king of the Jungle! I remembered my niece Vera had asked me if I’d ever seen him in person. I thought “she doesn’t believe that’s his screaming voice in the jungle, when he swings in those trees!” So I told Daud who patiently let me get away with all my whims, that I’d be right back; I did explain to him that I was going up to the big star at the bar. Daud just smiled and said “Good luck!”

Johnny Weissmuller – Tarzan

I walked up to the bar and got his attention immediately; he was holding a drink, but he stood up and kissed my hand. I proceeded to make my request, a favor for my niece. Could he do “that scream that he does in all his movies over the phone to my only niece Vera, who loves you just as much as I do?”

I also had memories of those Tarzan films from my childhood in Porlamar on Isla Margarita, on that swing, where I spent long hours dreaming of meeting all these stars some day. That was far away, not really so long ago, but it seems like another lifetime, when I could only dream about these people, never mind being kissed and standing next to one of them.

He said okay and the bartender handed me a phone after I dialed my niece’s number. I talked to her but she did not believe what was about to happen; he was standing next to me, bellowing as loud as he did  in the movies, several times that jungle scream that made Tarzan so famous. After that we had another kiss and thank you and you’re welcome, which is what famous people in Hollywood say to each other.  All that stuff is phony most of the time, but sometimes it is genuine. I believed all that, in my childish brain, despite the abuse of all the good things and bad things which made my life a fantasy, in cinemascope, 3-D and technicolor. I was walking on air, high in the sky, I was not even on this planet.

Jeff Cooper, Kaliman is in the back of this first man with the white hood (he was like superman to the mexicans) a hero from cartoons.

Things seemed so unreal, I was going through an unreal time myself, and it seemed everything was a bad dream, just a fantasy what was happening. This too shall pass, the fire, Jose, Jack and I not communicating. Jack was such a great husband, it was only because of the drugs and the craziness that I would ever think of leaving him– but as you will see, I did. And after that everything seemed to stop, there was no more care about remodeling the house or Jack or anybody: I just walked away with Jose. The drugs destroyed my mind, and nothing mattered anymore except Jose, drugs, and alcohol. It all became “who cares?” The only thing I kept were pictures and icons, and God was not too far from my mind and soul, that was the only thing I had with me.

I was trying lots of different drugs then, and everything mixed with alcohol. My friend Jim had some PCP or something similar, that was even worse than quaaludes, my preferred drug-alcohol mix. After a while any desire, dream, or excitement of remodeling my home vanished. Everything was gone, including the dream to create a new house. Jack worked hard at all this but soon it evaporated into fumes. The excitement died and another excitement took over. It was drugs, alcohol, and doing nada. I was living together with Jose and meeting his friends, which made me feel too old for him. He was in his early 20s and I was in my 30s, it was just the two us.

I left Jack at that last beautiful condo, and to this day I don’t know why I did this stupid thing. I suppose I will never know why. I moved into a quiet apartment with Jose and lived a stupid life. I started a mail order business, but Jose convinced me to buy some cocaine instead so we’d make some money. Well, not a penny did we make! I didn’t go out selling drugs, I was not exactly a pusher and could not give a damn about selling dope, but I used it and he used it, then he overdosed and  I spent three days praying for his life at  LA General Hospital. Seeing him helpless laying there in a coma, still did not teach me the lessons. I still was blind to notice this was coming to a bad end.

Jose came out of the hospital and got a job as a gofer and chauffeur for Sammy Davis Jr, but by then I was going to parties at the house of Jeff Cooper (in Mexico he was known as Kaliman, he did those cartoons so very famous in Mexico and most of the Latin countries). Of course there were more men than women at the parties, which would  go on for days….