In the period after I left Jack, my life was one big quest for love, drugs, and an imaginary happiness. The source of happiness seemed to be getting high, so I developed a more and more unquenchable thirst for drugs, alcohol and selfish pleasures. This quest took all the sanity out of my mind.
I was leaving a husband who took care of me the best he knew how, brought me coffee in bed in the morning, put up with my hangovers ( which were getting to be every day), and really did everything for me. I wanted animals? Well, okay, Jack would go to farms to pick up hay and other food for the animals out in the middle of the countryside, bring it back to Hollywood and all just to please me. We took trips together, or he let me go off by myself, to Tahiti (that is a whole another story), to Bora Bora , Moorea , Raiatea,Papaiety, Venezuela. He let me go to Mexico whenever I wanted, which I did frequently so I could escape into more drink and drugs and adventures, like Buck Rogers where I did had many friends of and the x wife of Ron Lavender who owned a very famous Gallery she introduced me to so many people among which an incredible lover hansom told black azabache hair, but this part of the my adventure goes on in another blog.
Jack now says that he didn’t realize how badly I was strung out on drugs, which shows how deceptive addiction can be. He thought I was just having fun, but I hid my worst behavior and made believe I was okay. Of course, at that time everybody I knew in Hollywood seemed to be strung out on something. I thought it was okay flirting and even going to bed with other man, because that is what I learn from my first beloved man. My fantasy of selfish, make-believe happiness was really just to camouflage my own inner pain and the sickness of addiction.
There were parties at Sammy Davis Jr.s place in Beverly Hills, with lots of cars parked in front of his house. Sammy loved collecting expensive new cars, like many nouveau riche people. He was born Catholic but converted to Judaism, probably for the convenience that it offered in Hollywood on those years, and the movie business. You got more work if you were friends with the Jewish directors, investors and agents, We’ll I must say in another think they make great husbands , I was mary to 2 of them Tom and Jack and let not forget my first, the real love Williams also Jews Who was not so good, promising the ski and gave me nothing, only took from my youth the innocence , but made me dream of better tomorrow.
I don’t know what he really believed. I had a photograph of him swearing an oath to Satan, some Cult of 666 that was popular, especially for the sex. I have one photo of me , taken for a magazine, posing at a dark castle on the Hollywood Hills. I went there and saw caskets in the rooms, weird things; as I was leaving the photo shoot, people were arriving dressed in strange black costumes, so that gives you an idea what was going on. But he was a great singer and dancer, one of the best in that period, or maybe the best ever, but the parties were wild and full of drugs and liquor. I personally only can say about him that he was a gracious host and very lively, nice person to me and Jose, so let God be the Judge. I liked him very much as an performer.
There were so many parties and stories, so I wi’ll keep writing but not all of them here in my blog, you wi’ll have to read my book. ..