The Ludmila Confessions

Kitty and I were now leaving in a Penthouse, and life was getting more to my liking! After I drank  a whole bottle of very good wine and smoked a cigarette that was in the cabinet, now I was  relaxed and “feeling no pain. Now, I realize how totally unconscious I was about another people property, I was so arrogant and proud (of what?)

I proceeded to take a nice hot shower (the apartment had air conditioning) and then feed my kitty, put my Indian dress and some make up on, and I was ready to go out to explore and see what adventure or mischief I could get into next! Well, saved by the bell– the doorbell rang, and guess who, Pedro and the other policeman  that we yousto played cards when in jail. Well, come on in!

One of my last jobs, not even in my nightmares did I think I be soon in jail

“Ola Pedro, pasa pasa. After the usual bullshit, I said to them (without inviting them to sit down), sorry I was just going to eat something and look around the city with a friend. Why don’t you guys come tomorrow evening and we’ll play some cards. O.k, okay,. hasta pronto, goodbye!.

How in the hell did they know where I was, unless they followed me? They must have been shocked that I had such heavy connections, but these were important society people, great friends of mine. Of course there was the incident at the border from Colombia to Venezuela and then the marijuana, (which was over I hoped), but I could continue with my life now, right?

Maybe I should have married Daud after my divorce? And maybe would not been in Jail?

Life was okay for a while, I was gambling drinking going to places, but most of all I enjoyed being in a nice place and relaxing. I think I finished off all the good wines , because my friend Javier when came back he was not happy! He did not scold me, but I could tell he was angry, so I moved out, seeing  that his girl friend was coming to stay with him, I got the hint! So there I go again, looking for a place to stay until I could get a permit of some kind to leave this infernal heat!

.

Now I was staying in a hostel where the bed was a hammock. Because of the unbearable heat you just can not sleep on a bad  without air conditioner, or you would wake up as I did many times wet  all over  with perspiration!

So from morning until the sun was high in the sky I went site seeing, I just walked back to the hostel shower and ate and lay on the hammock in the patio with other people living there like me. We entertained ourselves with small sweets notinsings talk, then on the afternoon taking a siesta with a drink in our hands, of course rum and coke with some ice–a strong one for me, and maybe watch some tv for an hour or two- then go back to sleep!

Maracaibo, 1960.

Maracaibo is a very rich, busy city because of the large reservoir of crude oil in the Lago de Maracaibo and being so near to Colombian border, he merchandise both legal and illegal, There was a market of Indian art and goods, so it was a  picturesque and fun city, and at night by  the lake their were lots and lots of bars, cabarets dancing ballrooms “a la latina.” So sometimes I would go there, to feel that  tropical breeze and smell of the sea air, in the gentle breeze with  the palms trees  swinging and the drinks coming, and that languid, romantic music of  Boleros and Tangos y Pasodobles and Rumba and Mambo so popular at that exotic time and why not to say sexy embrace of a hot man,  without any commitment, no cuchi cuchi involved..

So I managed to have what I call a good time.

Lots of very famous Mexicans were there at one time or another– Pedro Infante and other Mexican singers were in town in one time, and then others famous  performers Andy Williams , Mario moreno, etc,  but I did not want them to see mi in the situation I was in. To meet then I would have too been staying in the best hotel with the best clothes.

How strange it seems to me now that I needed that facade then, so people would like me or love me, only now I really it is O.K. to  be myself and show the real me…

As I am writing this blog,  a few weeks ago my mini Chihuahua Linda died and then two days ago my beloved companion and loyal friend Herbie,  a gorgeous beige champagne and white Chihuahua,  died of a heart attack.

I really don’t feel like writing now, but this is life on life’s terms and I am no longer a child that wants only to play charades and pretend to be happy. I want to do the responsible thing and be who I am,  and that takes work, faith, and courage, there is plenty of time for fun, this time is for mourning cleansing the soul. It so happens that this is strict Lent in my Orthodox church, and a time for crying.