The Ludmila Confessions

Jack and me in our good times

Mama and Jack  (and his wife Joy, a lady I used to invite to our parties when we were married) were waiting at the airport, and as I embraced mamasita. I could have kissed her to pieces– so I did, I loved this humble woman. She handed me an envelope with my salary commission from Aida Grey salon cosmetics from Beverly Hill where I worked before I left. How thoughtful of her! But that was just her honesty and love, when I left to do business with the Clairol men. Well, you know what happened?

Many employees at A.G.  cosmetics told me when I came back, that  Aida and her big staff there at the main counter treated Mama like a third-class citizen, because she did not wear makeup like all  the customers (which was too much!) and did not wear Gucci clothes. So, consequently they humiliated my sainted momma, made her wait in the workers room in the back, for a long time [while they rounded up may paycheck (those bastards!) You see. money talks and the poor just walk. Revenge? Well I thought of it, but then  I would be as low as they are.

. In those days the salon was full of women like Nancy Reagan and General Bradley’s wife and so on, all the high society lovely ladies dressed in Dior or Versace, ladies that had all the time and lots of money to spend half a day getting (or trying) to look younger and prettier). They only can showed the things money can buy , my mama showed what God had done for us without money! If only they could see her in her furs and hats and gloves, pictures that I still  have, she was a really  Lady and father kept her beautifully, not only because was very important, no,  not only because of has ranks or positions?  but, who he really was, a man of men,  as I just said that is another book, is another story;  this  one is my book  my story,

Dear Mama and my piggy

I wanted Jack to stop the car so I could get a bottle of booze to drink, but Jack said we’re almost at your home, I didn’t remember the man living in my house ? did I meet him before?, but Jack said that he worked with him several times. oh well

Here we are, and as I Look there is a short man standing  at my house  door,  (it must be Robert the roommate Jack got me, ( so I have same money when I came back how good of him after what I did too him.

I said hello and he took my hand and kissed it. Shuuut, it looks like I have a maybe a gentleman in my house,  I said rudely , and mumble my pleasure and  went straight to the little  bar  I had in the kitchen.To my surprise amazingly  it actually their way an full bar including an basket of ice, well well, rum, vodka, and scotch –Johnny Walker black ( in those days there were red or black thats all)  my  favorite of  course way black, I took a glass and poured a lot of it , a little ice and splash of soda, wow, before I offered anybody I finish at and as I waas serving myself another I offer any one por an drink?,  but of course no one wanted a drink at 11am.

“Please Robert, can you put a log in the fire, its cold in here!~Well its winter, where is my servant Fernando? Joy  replied that he disappeared,. “God thank you and thank you all!” I don’t known if anyone heard me or I just had it on my mind?.I went too say goodbye to all especially mama and Jack.

Just knowing the heart of my dearest mummy and  also so grateful to Jack,  I felt  good after  that big drink, Mama wanted to leave; she had Church that afternoon and  tomorrow so she was ready to  leave  Of course Joy immediately volunteered, signaling to Jack. “Let’s go. let her rest” after so an long trip, she said.

After all she obviously did not want Jack to stay any longer, especially alone with me, (wise move and diplomatic and wanting Jack for herself). She knew the divorce did not matter, he still loved me, which I did not know at that time. So he behaved very cool; if he would stay she knew she would never see him again, so that was a great move from her part.

Jack-Son  as I embrace him (goodbye see you soon) so close to his ears and face that we almost kiss on the mouth, when we heart Joy saY, Jack  her mother is waiting are you   coming?,  I did not want him to go, to live alone now, after all I went , I wanted to tell him all the story by the fireplace so beautiful ,real Italian style with read breeks,  where is my decorator carpenter mastro and more, deer  Grand, like  to go horse riding with him , will call him manana,  with my drink on may had.

I tuit  waw good excuse  calculated move of Joy’s part, taken mama and Jack of course,I don’t know what would happen if he stay? will we remarry ?,  after all we had a fantastic life, not a dull moment and  lots of fun, and busy  full life sex , romance, society travel, only God known? he had other plans for us, if she did not call him at that moment, she knew he still love me,  because  we were about to kiss when she call him.

Good night Ludmila rest well as she tuck Jack’s arm pulling him away from me  we talk tomorrow maybe we’ll go too the club and play some  backgammon,  I want you to meet some people, friends of mine,  Jack was still  holding may another hand  reluctant and sadly to let go,

I did not  jump back in his arms as I wanted,  still feeling like I was has wife, but the reality hit me on the face: “Slow downLuda let it be, let go, relax,” I said to myself.

It was weird, it still feels like he is my husband after all I done to him? just like before I felt, he was  waiting for me to come back home , and like before to forgive my immature alcoholic behavior.

But we did not know that then.