Jose mention yesterday that if I like we go two see Guatemala everywhere, but we had two weight for my ring, which we recovered the next day. Jose went out that evening , but I stayed home and his old aunt that never been married, came to my room with a liquor bottle! Of course she said, “I keep this for medicinal reasons”‘
I was so happy that I did not have to go out to hunt down some liquor store, let alone to get something to drink. I couldn’t stand being without alcohol, especially being under so much stress. So I definitely wanted a drink or two… or more. Jajajajajaja!

” Back home in L.A. had to walk whit a cane for a long time.”
Next morning after breakfast, we were not talking at the table– no one cared to ask me anything. So I packed a few things and we took off on the big Kawasaki Ltd 1000 motorcycle that I bought for him. We went to the beautiful countryside en route to Lake Atitlan, stopping by the river and at the homes of some of Jose’s friends. As we rode through the indescribable beauty of rural Guatemala, there were flowers everywhere, pine trees, rivers with little waterfalls and the smell of smoke from the wood fires in the valleys and hills. Then suddenly, we slid and tumbled over, and I found myself underneath this big motorcycle the motor were still running hot it was very hot..
Jose was screaming “Stay still, don’t move,” while trying to lift the bike, but of course he couldn’t and I couldn’t move at all! Finally some people came passing by in cars and one of them stopped to help him lift the big motorcycle off of me. It seemed to take forever, with me lying under the burning hot motor, the bike crushing down on my whole left leg. I can’t remember much, but later they said they took us immediately to the nearby clinic in the village of San Lucas Toliman to see if any doctor was available.
Well the only thing I know was that I was in so much pain, now numbed not only by alcohol and with the the drugs to, laying in bed in the house of La Negra Maldonado, her family hacienda with a coffee plantation. That delicious smell was my companion as I was healing….

Dancing whit William in Caracas to ” It Was Fascination I know”
Jose was in the next room, laughing and smoking pot, and many other people were there, I barely could move, but slowly I was helped up to the living room, where not one was interested in my problems. They were so high including Jose who was busy making eyes at La Negra, and the gays were making passes at him. Wow what a group of weirdos! But there was one guy that looked half elegant with a little class ,and he had a big new van like a Jeep and was proposing something. I felt like I didn’t belong there with the gays and dropout drug users and la Negra making passes at Jose– this was not exactly a happy situation for me!
Well as always , I made the best of the worst.! I heard this one guy saying something about the beach and my ears perked up: The beach, yes! I need to get out of this cold house in the mountains where we are. So when one of the boys said, Lets go to the beach!” I was all for it. The pain was still bad, and although nothing was broken my whole leg was swollen up like a big balloon. Some of the muscles were torn and muscle trauma had appeared, enough to make me scream with pain. So everybody was giving me pills and of course la Negra give me more stuff and aguardiente, wow wow weeeeee!
.We took off to the beach; all the way there I wanted to drink more aguardiente until I reached oblivion. for me not two remember the countryside, which was totally different than the one we drove from, it was hot, tropical, with a smell of iron from the sea, the beach air was so inviting warm and nice! I don’t remember too much the scenery as we arrived , Jose with the three other guys went into this fantastic looking hotel which I supposed was to get or see a room for us, and I just sit by a fishing boat and wait!!!!!
Next thing I knew, I awoke with a cut on my forehead, inside the same boat , I remember sitting there, now I am inside of it, alone with no one there. Shortly Jose arrived and said something to his friends, Look she’s hurt , blood in her forehead, I thought to myself that meant he left me alone and was with his male lovers in this luxurious hotel , which I didn’t even seen inside, so I just wanted to go back to beautiful Atitlan.
I did not speak to him the whole way back, until we arrived 2 or 3 hrs. later. Of course no one cared to even talk with or to Jose, they all seemed tired. If he head? had any dignity or concern for me?, he hid it from me, but probably not from himself.
I was in no shape to argue or judge anyone. I justed wanted to be free from the pain and to be able to walk again. so I went into the house with this mayan servants helping me carried me at this a graceful, lovely small hacienda-type pueblo ranch home of the Maldonado family, on the middle of San Lucas Toliman in Atitlan, were The Indian women their, and most of the interior of Guatemala still dressed traditionally, carried their babies on their backs, and did not dare look into anyone’s eyes. We couldn’t take pictures of them because they believed we’d steal their souls, and it we’ll be captured inside the camera .
Arriving it this hacienda ranch I realize this was her home then, where she was waiting our coming back anxiously she greeted me with a present, just for me,? some kind of coins and bets, (probably witchcraft– who knows? They carried me on into the bed, they were smokin weed all the time and she was always high in pot or something else. She was obviously enchanted with Jose. He was tall, blond, slim and always very charming.
The servant handed me a cane, so I could get to the bathroom or go to sit up for a moment, which was almost impossible, I had to lie down almost all the time, even inside the cars, (which the only time was in our last trip to Lake Elizabeth that was the name of the beach we were at, It was impossible to sit comfortably, being so painful I could scream, so I lay in bed almost all the time. The local doctor said not to walk for a couple of days.
In the meantime, Jose and his friends went to parties and picnics, and as it turned out, the romance between Jose and La Negra had already started.
Incredibly, in this part of the world, to hear that music on the radio! “It was “Fascination I know”! My goodness, tears were rolling down my cheeks, with my eyes closed and even now remember dancing to that melody so many times with William, to that some music! It was so vivid, one of our favorite songs. The last time I spoke to him was in Sausalito (near San Francisco) in the “No Name Bar,” still where he said he loved me… but that was last time we spoke in person two person and kiss and love each other, at that time felt so long ago . I guess it must have been ? before he moved to Hawaii and become a rich, successful men,Ice cream and coffee merchant, o crepes two go on Sausalito.
So you see, the wind carries all our promises away, on the lips of cocaine and alcohol. Any promise seems real, whether to the one who lies or the one who wants to believe them. sure, we would believe everything, I did for many years 10 o so, all promise “ el aire se las llevo” almost anything to get what or who we want, if it feels good and looks great at that moment, when we are high…
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