Archive for the ‘Personal life’ Category

Octavio and I went to the mansion of Jaclyn Smith to apply for  jobs, me for the chef cook and Octavio as the Mayordomo. Of course I was not acknowledging her knowing me,  because now I was the makeup  artist, and I would have to explain everything and it was not the time nor the place.

Ludmila and her great husband Jack Millman ready for the Christmas party in  Walt Disney

Ludmila and her great husband Jack Millman ready for the Christmas party in Walt Disney

Now working as an makeup artist I had two meet people in the business.  I met the Clairol sub director, for whom I had a proposition about going to Mexico and trying to promote a new make up they just put out.

So we went to Puerto Vallarta where at that time I had some friends. The very next  day we were invited to the X-Mrs. Lavender it was fantastic, we met some very important people for business and enjoyed ourselves very much..Next day we went to look at the boat that he rented and decided to go fishing for the day  after  tomorrow .

After relaxing by the beach and having some Margarita ,  we went to our hotel on the center of P.V where the Burtons always stayed, before they bought (or I should say he bought) the famous house. That was very romantic, across from the river that empties in the ocean- the house was facing the river and from the balcony they could see the local women washing their laundry on  the rocks, that was their washing mashing beating the clothes over than,.  But in the meantime they stayed here in front of the old beautiful  Church with the crown on top and the dolphins statue across on the other side, on  the Malecon  where the breakers were splashing in the foundation of the cement wall.

We arrived at our room, he went two shave, and I went to the beauty salon to have a massage and bubble jacuzzi. The hairdresser did my hair, then I went up where he was already  dressed very elegantly in a tropical white jacket. I put on a aqua color long  gown, than  we were to stop  and pick up our host and his wife, then go to another opening of another artist at  another Gallery and pick up our other friends who also were invited– and  then finally go to  diner.

We arrive in a vintage car, I don’t remember the make, as  I never really gave any attention to anything like that, some old cars.  Well, this restaurant was in a place near the old town overlooking the waters of the Pacific. It was the most  exquisite restaurant, only known to the very rich, crystal chandeliers (real not fake), and mirrors for your individual table to see in, very discreet– you could not see really your neighbors except if your were invited to their table, but your could hear and see the water and white foam against the seawall

"This was  the party in Puerto Vallarta"

“This was the party in Puerto Vallarta”

On our table there was a basket of  arrangements on each of the 6 places not very large but fully open  Gardenias,  on the side of the table in an beautiful basket made look like real gold , with a red linen napkin wrapping an excellent vintage Dom Perignon. That I did not remember having before!  As we sat down the waiter opened the champagne  and after doing so, asked the host if it was okay, As he left, the host said, “Ladies, how  would you like to smell the camellias or gardenias?”  Then of course I realized why they were so white– they were full of cocaine, the whole center of the flower.

How could I forget this? It was the epitome of getting high,  after that event the meal  (which was something special) seemed of very little importance, because of this magnificent pure snow powder– if I breathed too hard it would blow away.!

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Ludmila working as a top make up artist in Beverly Hills

Ludmila working as a top make up artist in Beverly Hills

Jose just forgot about me. He wrote a few letters to me in LA,  that he would soon be there, and as time went on I suffered like a mad beast, my pride and my imaginary love for him!  Leaving my dear Jack did not leave me too much peace of mind, and in the meantime Joy had got Jack closer and closer to herself,  When I had invited them to a Mexican party,  I had by now an Mexican house boy helping me. But Jack seemed  uninterested in me anymore, or maybe it was his pride. I didn’t  blame him, or I did not notice he did not desire anything to do with me romantically, much less wanting me back

The cane and the pipe became one with me. Daud had big parties some families like the Saturdays with Baba and some orgies I went to, I drank at home I drank at the party I drank in the car driving: I drank and drank and drank.  I remember that I was restless; unhappy which is not in my nature, but I was missing something that I did not know or understand. I felt that there had to be more to my life, something greater, that I could be doing with my mind and life.  But the time went by, the clock did not stop ticking.  I was on a baguan for a long time ,  I did not know that their were held, like  A.A.

The two hair artist and Ludmila in the salon of Robinson on Beverly Hills

The two hair artist and Ludmila in the salon of Robinson on Beverly Hills

Than  this great Idea  came to my mind:  why not worked in cosmetics, since I knew almost everything there was  to know about it, and modeling and acting  were disappointing to me. Without realizing that the trouble was with me, not my profession, I went and got a job at one of the most prestigious  Beverly Hills salons. Suddenly I was a “world-famous makeup artist!” I don’t know  how I managed to get that title! since I had always been  a customer on the receiving end,  massages ,facials, make ups, hair………and now I am telling these very rich women what to use and the more they bought the more I would get. I was even invited to La Jolla to a large mansion with our famous hair artist to work at this incredible wedding– he was doing the hair  and me the makeup. They put us up at the fabulous  La Jolla Hotel, all  expenses paid.

At the wedding  I met Jaclyn Smith (for the second time) who kept  staring  at me and said, “Do I know you?  Are you’re sure we didn’t meet some place?” I denied it,  gently like the lady I was, but strongly.

Mexican style party in Ludmilas home.

Mexican style party in Ludmilas home.

Of course I knew her, when my dear aristocratic friend Octavio Senoret after not being very successful financially with his  paintings, which were really good he had a incredible style–unique, like every good creative artist. He was from a great family in Chile and in those times Mexico did not want any Russians like me!  I had to pay a bond when I came to see Agustin Lara, guaranteeing my return to Venezuela. See how things have changed now, when the Mexicans want every right without paying!  I don’t say that bitterly, just pointing out how history changes and we in Mexico gladly obey their rules as it is their country, just like the U.S. is another people’s country, with one big difference: do we have the Statue of Liberty standing high and mighty?  We ought not to hurt and abuse her,  but together to make even more glorious this free land of milk and honey for pursuit of happiness and freedom for  all. Who is willing to respect and love this beautiful land,   I guess I am too old fashioned and so what?  in any  case they did not allow Octavio to even enter Mexico, even to see his children that lived in Yelapa (Acapulco), supposedly because Chile was communist.

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I have to clarified what was not clear in my last blog. La Negra Maldonado is a daughter of a large Hacendado of a coffee plantation in San Lucas Toliman, Lake of Atitlan. After the bike accident they took me there, to the only  Dr. available around this mountain area of the lake, without going to the other site of the lake,  where all the tourist area are. Jose meet some friends walking with La Negra, while I was with the local Dr. and they all agreed  that I will be better in  her Hacienda because I would be much more comfortable there, with servivent etc. which Jose did not have in his small cabana.

Grant and Ludmila going to the stables in Hollywood to horseback riding.

Grant and Ludmila going to the stables in Hollywood to horseback riding.

After my motorcycle accident, I could not walk, nor do modeling, but I could be a makeup consultant, with my large experience in cosmetics and makeup. I was very good  at it, so I landed a  fantastic job, on the  top floor of a gorgeous salon in one of the most famous stores in Beverly Hills.

And the another picture that was before,  that  did not make sense in my story,  was the one me laying on my living room floor with drinks,  plenty of them and pain pills,  with my left leg immobilized, watching Grant remodeling my little  horrible nightmare house that I purchased for a very good price.

I start feeling that familiar feeling that I was on my own, alone, no one to protect me like Jack used to do- I used to feel so secure with him!

I don’t really know how that made me feel because I was always medicated with alcohol,  so in a way I reverted to some degree, confronting myself and taking responsibility of myself. Now that life showed me this, I am back starting where I began at birth!

I remember it well!  This insane house purchase. Well, at the time it seemed like a good idea!

Jose and Ludmila sitting in the street of Guatemala

Jose and Ludmila sitting in the street of Guatemala

Before I  left  for Guatemala, I purchased this house without even seeing it, just so we would have a house when we came back. Well, now Mr. Grant Lesley was working on remodeling this horror, and he was handsome, but short, with blond hair, blue eyes and an outgoing personality. Just what the doctor ordered, jajajaja!  He was very charming, so he convinced me to remodel this little garbage house into a mini-jungle in the guest room, wall-to-wall paper with jungle animals, tigers, panthers and lions, orchids and palm trees in the living room (for real) so you could not see on from the street but I could see out.

In the main bedroom was a white wall-to-wall carpet, white walls, white silk bedding, a white  fox fur imitation  bad cover,  a night table with a red base, and white and red roses, and a large mirror reflecting the light of the window and plants from outside there was a mini garden  out their, plus  a white rocking chair.

Taking a ride whit Bud Harrod after modeling

Taking a ride whit Bud Harrod after modeling

Today, I realize that Grant was a really good friend:  he took my mind off  Jose, my injuries,  and the pain of mourning I was going through. (Thank you Grant–I hope your are reading this wherever you are. You were a fantastic decorator, carpenter, designer, everything !) The living room was Mexican with large wooden furniture made by him,  in front of the new design  red brick fireplace,( replacing the one I almost die by the night I arrived)  with a large red hardwood mantel,  the kitchen head a  table which stuck out of the counter of the dining area with a bar behind at an door to the small garden and garage and the other side to the living room and the hall away to the lef.

Well, I spent most of the money from the divorce settlement, but I had a showplace that I loved and that made me grow. It was the most romantic place, tiny but enchanting! The hallway to my room was  full of books on each side of the walls. I could had almost any fantastic book, some that I lugged with me from Venezuela.  (How strange now I rarely read anymore!)  from Thomas Mann to all the collected works of  Winston  Churchill,  philosophers all the way back to Socrates and Plato. (Socrates did not write, of course, he spoke and Plato wrote down his dialogues his ideas and philosophy)..

Smoking a tabaco pipe

Smoking a tabaco pipe

Grant and I become more than friends, lovers of course,  but with no attachments. We had a lot of fun remodeling this ugly duckling into our fantasy of beautiful fairy tale home.  I loved it and everyone who came to my home loved it too. I had some really good parties. Jack came by with his new girlfriend Joy who he married later on, Jeff Cooper, and many other famous people and of course movie stars…

Then when I got better I went back to work, with my favorite designer Bud Harrod, who at one time was my boyfriend– and the only man that ever put a diamond ring on my finger! it was over a one karat rock that had belonged to his father. Not for a proposal, because he was scared of marriage after his last experience.  But we worked well together, in harmony you could say, and we went in to New Years to Las Vegas and many other US cities for designer week– New York, San Francisco, Houston, Dallas. On one trip to San Francisco, I saw William again for the last time. He was back from Hawaii, and we had a farewell dinner at the Saint Francis hotel. We talked about his Cafe Imperial, the coffee I helped him sell door to door in L.A. It was a fantastic idea, but it did not sell at that time.

My set of friends had begun to change, and I was moving more into the business world instead of Hollywood showbiz. I was thinking about starting my own line of beauty products, facial creams, so  I contacted my ex-lover and dear friend Buck Rogers, who by then was living in Mexico City instead of Acapulco where I met him..  Then in LA I was introduced to a Clairol executive.

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Jose mention yesterday that if I like we go two see Guatemala everywhere, but we had two weight for my ring,  which we recovered  the next day. Jose went out  that evening , but I stayed home and  his old aunt that never been married, came to my room with a liquor bottle! Of course she said, “I  keep this for medicinal reasons”‘

I was so happy that I did not have to go out to hunt down some liquor store, let alone to get something to drink.  I couldn’t stand being without alcohol, especially being under so much stress. So I definitely wanted a drink or two… or more. Jajajajajaja!

" Back home in L.A. had to walk whit a cane for a long time."

” Back home in L.A. had to walk whit a cane for a long time.”

Next morning after breakfast, we were not talking at the table– no one cared to ask me anything. So I packed a few things and we took off on the big Kawasaki Ltd 1000 motorcycle that I bought for him. We went to the beautiful countryside en route to Lake Atitlan, stopping by the river and at the homes of some of  Jose’s friends. As we rode through the indescribable beauty of rural Guatemala, there were flowers everywhere, pine trees, rivers with little waterfalls and the smell of smoke from the wood fires in the valleys and hills. Then suddenly, we slid and tumbled over, and I found myself underneath this big motorcycle the motor were still running hot it was very hot..

Jose was screaming “Stay still, don’t move,” while trying to lift the bike, but of course he couldn’t and I couldn’t move at all! Finally some people came passing by in cars and one of them stopped to help him lift the big motorcycle off of me. It seemed to take forever, with me lying under the burning hot motor, the bike crushing down on my whole left leg.  I can’t remember much, but later they said they took us immediately to the nearby clinic in the village of San Lucas Toliman to see if any doctor was available.

Well the only thing I know was that I was in  so much pain, now  numbed not only by alcohol  and  with the the drugs to,  laying in bed in the house of La Negra Maldonado, her family hacienda with a coffee plantation. That  delicious smell  was my  companion as I was  healing….

Dancing whit William in Caracas to " It Was Fascination I know"

Dancing whit William in Caracas to ” It Was Fascination I know”

Jose was in the next room, laughing and smoking pot, and many other  people  were there, I barely could move, but slowly I was helped up to  the living room, where not one was interested in my problems. They were so high including Jose who was busy making eyes at La Negra,  and the gays were making passes at him. Wow what a group of weirdos! But there was one guy that looked half elegant with a little class ,and he had a big new van like a Jeep  and was proposing something.  I felt like I didn’t belong there with the gays and dropout drug users and la Negra  making passes at Jose– this was not exactly a happy situation for me!

Well as always , I  made the best of the worst.!   I  heard this one guy saying something about the beach and my ears perked up: The beach, yes!  I need to get out of this cold house in the mountains where we are. So when one of the boys said, Lets go to the beach!”  I was all for it. The pain was still bad, and although nothing was broken my whole leg was swollen up like a big  balloon. Some of the muscles were torn and muscle trauma had appeared, enough to make me scream with pain. So everybody was giving me pills and of course la Negra give me more stuff and aguardiente, wow wow weeeeee!

.We took off to the beach; all the way there I wanted to drink  more aguardiente until I reached oblivion. for me not two remember the countryside, which was totally different than the one we drove from,  it was hot, tropical, with a smell of iron from the sea,  the beach air was so inviting warm and nice! I don’t remember too much the scenery as we arrived ,  Jose with the three other guys went into this fantastic looking hotel which I supposed was to  get or see a room for us, and I just sit by a fishing boat and wait!!!!!

Next thing I knew,  I awoke with a cut on my forehead, inside the same boat , I remember sitting there, now I am inside of it, alone  with no one there.        Shortly Jose arrived and said something to his friends,  Look  she’s  hurt , blood in her forehead,  I thought to myself  that meant he left me alone and was with his male lovers in this luxurious hotel , which  I didn’t even seen inside, so I just wanted to go back to beautiful Atitlan.

 I did not speak to him the whole way back, until we arrived 2 or 3 hrs. later. Of course no one cared to even talk with or to  Jose, they all seemed tired. If he head?  had any dignity or concern for me?, he hid it from me, but probably not from himself.

I was in no shape to argue or judge anyone. I justed wanted to be free from the pain and to be able to walk again. so I went into the house with this mayan servants helping me carried me at this a graceful, lovely small hacienda-type pueblo ranch home of the Maldonado family, on the middle of San Lucas Toliman in Atitlan, were The Indian women their, and most of the interior of Guatemala still dressed traditionally, carried their babies on their backs, and did not dare look into anyone’s eyes. We couldn’t take pictures of them because they believed we’d steal their souls, and it we’ll be captured inside  the camera .

Arriving it this hacienda ranch I realize this was  her home then,  where she was waiting our coming back anxiously  she greeted me with  a present, just  for me,? some kind of coins and bets, (probably witchcraft– who knows?  They carried me on into the bed,  they were smokin weed all the time and she was  always high in pot or something else. She was obviously enchanted with Jose. He was tall, blond, slim and always very charming.

The servant handed me a cane,  so I could get to the bathroom or go to sit up for a moment,  which was almost impossible, I had to lie down almost all the time, even inside the cars, (which the only time  was in  our last trip to Lake Elizabeth that was the name of the beach we were at,  It was impossible to sit comfortably, being so painful I could scream, so I lay in bed almost all the time. The local doctor said not to walk for a couple of days.

In the meantime, Jose and his friends went to parties and picnics, and as it turned out, the romance between Jose and La Negra had already started.

Incredibly, in this part of the world, to hear that music on the radio!  “It was “Fascination I know”! My goodness, tears were rolling down my cheeks, with my eyes closed and even now remember dancing to that melody so many times with William, to that some music!  It was so vivid, one of our favorite songs. The last time I spoke to him was in Sausalito (near San Francisco) in the  “No Name Bar,” still where he said he loved me… but that was last time we spoke in person two person and kiss and love each other,  at that time  felt so long ago .  I guess it must have been ?   before he moved to Hawaii and become a rich, successful men,Ice cream and coffee merchant, o crepes two go on Sausalito.

So you see, the wind carries all our promises away,  on the lips of cocaine and alcohol.  Any promise seems real, whether to the one who lies or the one who wants to believe them. sure,  we would believe  everything, I did for many years 10 o so,  all promise “ el aire se las llevo” almost anything to get what or who we want, if it feels good and looks great at that moment, when we are high…

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The divorce from dear Jack was not pushed by me. He showed up at my place with 20.000 dollars and I just signed the papers that Joy, our friend, had in her hands. And that was it. Not once did anyone ask me if I wanted the divorce. I believe now that my friend Joy did all this for him because she liked him for herself, and that was that.

Ludmila top model and expert make up artist working as a consultant for woman in Beverly Hill top Salon

Here I am the supreme artist Consultant for Beauty and make up, in Beverly Hills, Robertson Beauty Salon


In the meantime, we were in this small apartment, so I started a mail order business and proceeded to buy a Kawasaki Ltd for Jose. After a while  he went off to Guatemala to try to prepare his parents for our wedding, because I was older than him by 9 years. Since this was not a common thing in a Latin American country with very old fashioned Catholics, he needed to talk to them before I arrived.  Then I went few days  later to Guatemala and stayed in their home. Of course, now it was a shock to me, to find them to be this old-fashioned middle class family. His  father was a retired doctor,  his mother just a housewife, and a seamstress living with them.

They put me in  a separate room from Jose of course .Their furniture was wooden antiques, typical of nouveau riche furniture, but of course very proper, and of course a dining table that seated all of us, or was it 6 chairs? Because one morning his sister showed up for breakfast and we all were seated at this beautiful rid caoba wood table, the chairs with big tall backs and beautifully carved. They always served breakfast, lunch and dinner at exactly the same time every day.

Jose disappeared most of the time at night, but I was supposed to be a Lady and stay home and say NADA about it! Well that is not exactly me! Then one evening he shows up and tells me, Get dressed up we’re going to celebrate and I’ll introduce you to my friends.   How blind  can one be under Mr. buzz? I was completely blind, did not see nothing wrong with anything – and there was plenty wrong!

That evening I was totally confronted with his male lovers and female lovers and I did not care. That same evening I got robbed by his friend’s wife! We went to their apartment to have some cocaine that I brought with me from Hollywood, and I went to the bathroom to wash up. I left an 60 karat Persian Turquoise ring with diamonds in the bathroom and she picked it up and put it away. Well, I was looking on the floor everywhere, finally when we arrived home I told Jose if my ring doesn’t show up by that next evening, we’ll go to the police and to the  American Counsel.  They even finished off my coca as I  was getting a drink in the kitchen! What kind of friends are these, with their scams!” I said to Jose.

So he says, Let’s just take the motorcycle and go to Lake Atitlan after your get you ring.

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In the period after I left Jack, my life was one big quest for love, drugs, and an imaginary happiness. The source of happiness seemed to be getting high, so I developed a more and more unquenchable thirst for drugs, alcohol and selfish pleasures. This quest took all the sanity out of my mind.

I was leaving  a husband who took care of me the best he knew how, brought me coffee in bed in the morning, put up with my  hangovers ( which were getting to be every day), and really did  everything for me.  I wanted animals? Well, okay, Jack would go to farms to pick up hay and other food for the animals out in the middle of the countryside, bring it back to Hollywood and all just to please me. We took trips together, or he let me go off by myself,  to Tahiti (that is a whole another story),  to Bora Bora , Moorea , Raiatea,Papaiety, Venezuela. He let me go to Mexico whenever I wanted, which I did frequently so I could escape into more drink and drugs and adventures, like Buck Rogers  where I did  had many friends of  and the x wife of Ron Lavender  who owned a very famous Gallery she introduced me to so many people among which an incredible lover hansom told black azabache hair, but this part of the my adventure goes on in another blog.

Ludmila going to the Polo field to ride the horse

Ludmila going to the Polo field to ride the horse

Jack now says that he didn’t realize how badly I was strung out on drugs, which shows how deceptive addiction can be. He thought I was just having fun, but I hid my worst behavior and made believe I was okay. Of course, at that time everybody I knew in Hollywood seemed to be strung out on something. I thought it was okay flirting and even going to bed with other man, because that is what I learn from my first beloved man. My fantasy of selfish, make-believe happiness was really just to camouflage my own inner pain and the sickness of addiction.

There were parties at Sammy Davis Jr.s place in Beverly Hills, with lots of cars parked in front of his house. Sammy loved collecting expensive new cars, like many nouveau riche people. He was born Catholic but converted to Judaism, probably for the convenience that  it offered in Hollywood on those years,  and the movie business. You got more work if you were friends with the Jewish directors, investors and agents, We’ll I must say in another think they make great husbands , I was mary to 2 of them Tom and Jack and let not forget my first, the real love Williams also Jews Who was not so good, promising the ski and gave me nothing,  only took from my youth the innocence , but made me dream of better tomorrow.

Daniel Rio Lobos and me and others in a crazy party in Venezuela in Alejandro's Penthouse

Daniel Rio Lobos, Ludmila and others in a crazy party in Venezuela in Alejandro’s Penthouse

I don’t know what he really believed.  I had a photograph of him swearing an oath to Satan, some Cult of 666 that was popular, especially for the sex. I have one photo of me , taken for a magazine, posing at a dark castle on the Hollywood Hills. I went there and saw caskets in the rooms, weird things; as I was leaving the photo shoot, people were arriving dressed in strange black costumes, so that gives you an idea what was going on. But he was a great singer and dancer, one of the best in that period, or maybe the best ever, but the parties were wild and full of drugs and liquor. I personally only can say about him that he was a gracious host and very lively, nice person to me and Jose, so let God be the Judge. I liked him very much as an performer.

There were so many parties and stories, so I wi’ll keep writing but not all of them here in my  blog,  you wi’ll have to read my book. ..

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After we moved out of the hotel, after a week or ten days, Jose moved with us also, into the Condo that the insurance company put us into. Soon things took a very wild turn! There were pool tables, a big swimming pool, plenty of room and course lots of time to drink and take drugs. Whenever Jack went to work, Jose and I started playing around and going nuts. I thought we were just having lots of fun, but most of the time I was numb and unconscious of what was really happening.

One evening Daud invited me out to have a talk, and as we were seated at a table, not far away I noticed that at the bar there was this big fantastic looking man. It was Johnny Weissmuller– Tarzan, king of the Jungle! I remembered my niece Vera had asked me if I’d ever seen him in person; I thought “she doesn’t believe that’s his screaming voice in the jungle, when he swings in those trees!” So I told Daud who patiently let me get away with all my whims, that I’d be right back; I did explain to him that I was going up to the big star at the bar. Daud just smiled and said “Good luck!”

JW - Tarzan

JW – Tarzan

I walked up to the bar and got his attention immediately; he was holding a drink, but he stood up and kissed my hand. I proceeded to make my request, a favor for my niece. Could he do “that scream that he does in all his movies over the phone to my only niece Vera, who loves you just as much as I do”?

 Of course I had  memories of those Tarzan films from my childhood in Porlamar in Isla Margarita, in that swing,  where I spent long hours dreaming of meeting all these stars some day. That was far away, but not really so long ago, except it seems like another lifetime, when I could only dream about these people, never mind being kissed and standing next to one of them.

 Well, he said okay and the bartender handed me a phone after I dialed my niece’s number. I talked to her but she did not believe what was about to happen; he was standing next to me, bellowing as loud as he did  in the movies, several times that jungle scream that made Tarzan so famous. After that we had another kiss and thank you and you’re welcome, which is what famous people in Hollywood say to each other.  All that phony staff most of the time, but sometimes it is real ! I believe all that, in my childish brain, despite the abuse of all the good things and bad things  which made my life a fantasy, in cinemascope, 3-D and Technicolor, I was walking on air I was not even on this planet.

Jeff Cooper, Kaliman  is in the back of this first man whit the whit  hood,  ( he was like superman to the mexicans) a hero from cartons..

Jeff Cooper, Kaliman is in the back of this first man whit the whit hood, ( he was like superman to the mexicans) a hero from cartons..

Things seemed so unreal, I was going through an unreal time myself, and it seemed everything was a bad dream, just a fantasy what was happening. This too shall pass, the fire, Jose, Jack and I not communicating, Jack was so good of a husband, it was only because of the drugs and the craziness that I would ever think of leaving him– but as you will see, I did. And after that everything seemed to stop,  there was no more care about remodeling the house or Jack or anybody: I just walked away with Jose, it actually happened. I’ll say the drugs destroyed my mind, nothing mattered any more except Jose, drugs and alcohol. It all became “who cares?” ,The only thing I kept were pictures and Icons and God was not too far from my mind and soul, that was the only thing I had with me.

I was trying lots of different drugs, but everything mixed with alcohol, and then my friend Jim had some PCP or something like that, even worse than quaaludes, my preferred drug-alcohol mix. After a while the desire and dream and the excitement of remodeling my home vanished gone, no dream to create a new house. Jack worked hard at all this but soon it evaporated into fumes, the excitement died and another excitement took over drugs alcohol and doing nada , living together with Jose meeting his friends and feeling too old for him (he was in his early 20s and I was in my 30s, the two of us alone).

I was leaving Jack at that last beautiful Condo, to this day I don’t know why I did this stupid thing, I will never know? We moved into a quiet apartment and lived a stupid life. I started a mail order business , but Jose convinced me to buy some cocaine instead, so we’d make some money. Well, not a penny did we make! I didn’t go out selling drugs, I was not exactly a pusher and could not give a damn about selling dope, but I used it and he used it, then he OD’s  I spent 3 days praying for his life at  LA.General Hospital, seeing him helpless laying there in com, did not teach me a lessons where all his was coming to a bad end.

Jose came out of the hospital and got a job as a gofer and chauffeur for Sammy Davis Jr, but by then I was going to parties at the house of Jeff Cooper (in Mexico he was known as Kaliman, he did those cartoons so very famous in Mexico and most of the Latin countries). Of course there were more men than women at the parties, which would  go on for days….

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Daud with Ludmila in one of the parties

Daud with Ludmila in one of the parties

( thoughts of the past, about Onda Nueva fiasco)
Preparing for the big party for New Years eve.and on…..

Somehow the toughest  part of writing is writing!!!!  It is been said by writers much better than I.
It has also been said by producers, film makers, and event publisher yes, that the STORY is the most important part, and that is exactly what I have.

My dear readers, life just happened to me, I had no plans, not a glue what I was doing next, not even plan  A

Keep reading it will surprise your even more.

Jack is helping me to organize our house for New Year party and, is getting  cold at nights, so we decided to bring in all our small animals as your all know I sale than to pet shop on Beverly Hills,  but, were to put them? O.K. in the dining room it can be close in, so we did that,  we got them out of the large garage and brought them in the house , the Finches ( small little birds all different colors that are in the garage will bring them  in their  cages,  and the baby guinea pigs too,  put them  in the formal dining room  table, which is happens to be  too small for our formal New Year  party  dinner for 40.
I can close the doors of the dining room  and it will be perfect,  so we finished  putting  them there , everywhere in  the dinning  room including on the table, in the chairs,  it was full of animalitos, now they all will  be warm here,  Jack  said,  ( just want to say something here,  with not discrimination, head enuf husbands of all the different religious two know the best . the Jews men makes the best husband , because the woman is a queen of his kingdom.)

Now lets go  to the next step, we have to set up a very large table  for 40,  in the living room where there’s a lot of space and is in front of that large rock fireplace which seen so many wild parties,  plus true the big sliding glass wall you can see the outdoor fireplace
and the almost ( for professional practice swimming pool), it was that large,  checking  everything for New Years bash night,  as we worked we talk to each other Jack and I were  reminiscing about Onda Nueva first World Music festival before the one in Chile, and remembering when those union communist man,  stole all our cameras from the hotel rooms  in the Tamanaco Hotel,  yes dear , and remember how Peter Graves spoke to them,  the night before the opening premier gala,  and joke, doing  with his fingers  like  a gun,  pointing at the bad guy had,  whistling the tune of Mission Impossible and later  then Reni talk to them, and  another very high ranking people.

Ludmila in her garden

Ludmila in her garden

While the negotiation been coming  down and we were needing more capital, I managed to get  another investor to  help us out, as  we had to hire couple of the Venezuelan union guys or else we’ll not let us shout the festival.
But as we were all busy with things , the cameras and all recording equipment disappear from the cameraman rooms, equipment all gone, now was my turn to go see every big important person in Caracas that I knew, it  pay off my life before on Venezuela, hoping a good result ,  meanwhile we head couple of days off,   Jack was not feeling good so I said lets go to The Island of Margarita Jack was happy for that,  he will see, where I grown up? And went to the boarding school Inmaculada Concepcion  love walking there with the memories of my dreams in one of the swing in the school that today they are realities,  the classrooms look so small now, and showing with Mother superior that was still there and remembering me,  visiting with my husband holding my hands that was very nice. , I had lived their for couple of years, on my one world, did not have but may be 3 friends on all that time. .
We driven and walk The  whole Island the beach and little park where I swing and swing so high trying to reach the unreachable stars, the cities of the Island then so old and primitive and now so knew!
In the evening after dinner we went for a walk where I used to live near the houses of the fishermen in front of the caribbean  sea, and remembering,  opening the oysters that they got with their bare hands from the bottom of the sea  and then they would open them  one by one looking for pearls and I was allow to open as many as I wanted and if I found any they allow me to keep them, so as walk we pass one of  those homes the next one,  had the doors  wide open into their living room and they were watching T.V you could hear and see it from the sidewalk, so we stop abruptly because Jack almost skimming of top of his lungs  said, stop look that is  you in the tube and everybody turn two looking at us, with their open mouse   they  recognise me, that was the opening scene of Mission Impossible with Peter Graves in T.V the whole family was around it watching Mission Impossible series of this show that where the very first ones .
What a thrilling moment that was, but we just say hello and we waved goodbye and prosite walking to our hotel,  very excited , small world we were laughing and happy…

Back in Caracas, as  we went  in the rooms of the cameraman  to ask and check what was the news? That we hear at the aeropuerto? That a helicopter came yesterday and lendent on the gardens of the Hotel and unload boxes, that went to the cameramans rooms, we’ll, when we arrived we went immediately to the rooms two find Jimmy Maddox laughing and telling us the story,  everything is back,  so we hired 2 of the union cameraman so they can  sit and learn the American way how to do an festival film, today you can see a documentary of it. We’ll we’ll Williams did not kept any of his promises,  not even a penny when one day I was on much  need,  and ask him for help, he ignored everything and later I hear he  mary, of cause someone else, but I did not need him now any more, God is making my dreams come through.

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On the beach in Acapulco Buck, Ludmila and Ron lavender Children

On the beach in Acapulco Buck, Ludmila and Ron lavender Children

While still in Acapulco and Puerto Vallarta, I was really having fun with Buck,and finally Ruth went back to L.A. Of course she told her son about my promiscuous behavior. Jack keep calling and asking, “When are your coming back home?” But there was always another party to go to, so one more last time we went to the big Disco in Acapulco. I loved the balloons at midnight, the confetti and serpentinas, it was so gay and such fun dancing with Buck! I got carried away on the dance floor, then something terrible happened: I fell down to the floor drunk and shaking…
I got up, smiled and continued dancing Then again I fell down, and I remember saying to myself “What is this? am I really so drunk ? how embarrassing!” And once again I fell down, so I said to Buck, “Lets sit down at our table!” Finally I told Buck “Lets go home.” But everybody came along with us, thinking that as usual I was just taking the party someplace else. I don’t even remember how or when we arrived back at Buck s, and I don’t remember who stayed behind and who came to Buck’s house, but apparently it included some other young ladies.

Dining in D.F. whit Buck and very important people

Dining in D.F. whit Buck and very important people


I was awakened by hands groping me and this young beautiful girl kissing me all over! Well, l got up, took another drink and the sex party proceeded, until I passed out and woke up for cocktail time that evening. I went down those long beautiful stairs that went around above the living room to reach the bar, where Buck and Rudy and Anna and Ron and everybody else was standing there. Arturo arrived with his wife Mary Arden and Buck’s sister. After the cocktails we went to dinner and someone said, “Diane is arriving day after tomorrow,” so I said to Buck, “Book me on the flight tomorrow to L.A. please!”

Going up the stairs to pack, I saw he had hung pictures and even a large portrait of me on the wall! In fact, there were many pictures of us everywhere on the home.. I could not take them with me, there were too many things to pack, so I left them behind. Well, she destroyed them all!) I was too hungover to pack or think about anything., my head was pounding and I heard the sound of a voice: “Its time to go home, I stayed too long at this party, its over, “Its time for Jack to put me over his shoulder and take me home.” But of course he was not there , or he would have done just that, so I had to do it myself!, Jack was totally the opposite of this gentle Charles Rogers (Buck his nickname) from Boston, high society and descendant of the Boston tea party. One of his great grandfathers was a pirate, and his ship had been confiscated by the first U.S.Navy to start the first naval fleet.
The next morning, as I was still posing for personal pictures at the airport, saying goodbye to all my friends and Buck, I was oblivious to the fact that Diane had changed her schedule and was already arriving in Acapulco! I headed out to the plane in the shirt that Buck gave me because I liked it so much. Just as I was almost ready to get on the plane, I saw her descending the ramp from her plane! It was just a miracle that we did not run right into each other that day, or the fur would have flown! That would not be a happy meeting! Somehow of course we missed each other, thank God, because I was too busy saying goodbye to Buck and to Acapulco.

Later he called me and told me that he was divorcing her and she was taking everything he had, including the Pierce Arrow– (like she needed it!) along with a Cadillac and some other cars, all of which poor Buck had gladly given her. Katy (one of his daughters) and I were good friends and she wrote me all the time, so we had good memories of our friendship and she kept me informed of all these things. Our friendship continued for a long time, writing to each another, so I learned that she burned all my things and all my pictures and he had asked her for a final divorce. That was a big scandal! I never met the lady so I can only speak from what I heard and my own experience. I would see Buck a couple more times, but only as friends, not lovers…

Buck had a beautiful home with its wide open spaces, Mexican baroque style with a tile pool, palm trees, and separate quarters for the servants (who did not like me–they were all faithful to his wife Diane, who was busy taking him to the cleaners, leaving him with no balls!) I guess that’s why all his friends loved me, because they said I restored him to manhood by “giving him back his balls.” That was where I should have burned one bridge and chosen the other, but that’s so difficult when the time comes, to know which bridge to burn and which to cross!.

This was only the beginning, going down the torturous road of alcoholism. I should have quit then. But I didn’t, I was too obliterated and drunk to care When I finally arrived home I received a bunch of photos of me in the mail, in the front row at Reni’s big funeral. Life was getting a little rougher on me, sending me a message that I did not understand at the time.

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The Jubilee was not as successful as we would have liked! Jerry Lee Lewis arrived with 5 trailer trucks and all his menagerie, but of course they kept  him so high that he could fly and no one was allowed to talk to him, not even us.  Well, his performances was not fantastic; I think his years were already catching up with him. David Carradine did his folksinger gig, and one other artist, but some of them did not show up at all.

Jeff Cooper ( Caliman) and Ludmila

Jeff Cooper ( Caliman) and Ludmila

As usual, after the Jubilee there was a party at the Millmans!  Arturo Hanzel my dearest friend , David Carradine and many many more guests– Jim Maddox and the two Israeli brothers, everybody had a blast. There was champagne, whisky, rum, gin was like water going around and cocaine and pot and quaaludes and LSD…. God know what else. Well, I don’t remember much of anything, but I just think I had fun.

Of course, when the buzz wore off, it was time to go to another party. Jose  #3 was working with that very famous singer– that fellow who was blind in one eye short black and Jewish, a member of the rat pack– of course, now I remember his name  it was Sammy Davis Jr.! Well he had lots of cocaine at his party house, and good drinks, so there we went! Liza Minnelli was there and many other stars. They will all will be in my book, I promise you- this is just a teaser!

 Ludmila holding the big fish

Ludmila holding the big fish

As we were all having fun, one of my Mexican fighting cocks was lose and would not leave any body alone, attacking everybody and wanting to fight very bravely. the people were going crazy, so finally we caught him and put him in a cage. He was a beautiful bird with gold and red,  and black under his chest, just so spicy and proud like a Mexican bullfighter.

Arturo Hanzel (related to the Morgan Bank) invited me and Jack’s mom Ruth to go to Mexico for a long vacation.His wife Mary was my hostess, introducing me to all her friends including Buck Rogers, who impressed me immediately: handsome, well mannered, relaxed, educated, and witty.  After going with Mary and Mrs Lavender to operas and ballets we went to the discos!. Marry said lets go to Acapulco so we all went to Acapulco, and had an incredible time. Even Jack’s mother come with me, so she could enjoy Mexico.

Arturo Hanzel and daughters of Buck Rogers

Arturo Hanzel and daughters of Buck Rogers

Arriving in Acapulco we stay at Ron Lavender’s house. At that time he was just beginning to grow his Real Estate business; later he became number one,  his soon sequestered and head same sad times. Charles Rogers  (his friends called him Buck), fell for me immediately, as soon as we were introduced that evening, during the cocktail hour in  Ron’s home had a typical Mexican house   as your walk in the living room, which was  very open bright,  that was a small  house , in comparison to his  famous rich friends, a modest  bar and followed by the little patio with palm trees and at the end  there was a small pool with a  very Mexican fountain with gorgeous tiles, it was a charming place, cozy  everywhere you looked!  There was Mexican art work and in the upstairs  second floor the guest rooms.   This where  magic time, everything was new and beautiful,  different from Hollywood or anything a seem before,even different from Spain, and without my husband carrying me out over his shoulder out  shouting to me that I had had enough!  may be he had enough but not me, The funny part or the good part, is that  I did not get mad at that,  actually in a strange way I liked it, I felt protected and or  cared for– who knows?

But here in Mexico, I am free, so I have to get rid of Ruth, so I can really do whatever I want!  Well,  we disappeared all night to the bars, but no Ruth. We all went, Mary ,Buck, Ron, Ana and her husband Rudy, after dinner to a bordello to  see how it was, we laughed and joked and drank champagne and watched the parade of men going and coming.  I was even invited to see one of the private rooms, where the prostitute conducts her business.  I think I asked the girl if it ever repulsed her, a man that was not appealing? She said, “I just close my eyes and think of Errol Flynn!”.

After Ruth left, Buck took  me to every society part, in the Yacht Club  in Acapulco, we went to Merle Oberon’s the gorgeous actress’ house, and other celebrities –even the beach house of Senor Cantinflas himself.

Next day after Arturo Hanzel arrived, as he by now finish La Novela he was filming in Mexico City, with Jeff Cooper the Canadian actor  who play the Mexican hero “Caliman”  Then we all went across the jungle in Jepps  and then by boat to a clean and beautiful beach. I still have a picture of me holding a fish, the workers and fishermen had prepared a feast on a long wooden table on the sand by the old palapa, with fishing nets hanging around and hamacas between the Palm trees. We ate all kinds of seafood, and then more tequila , then we went to lie down in the gold warm sand. Later when it was sunset, we went back on the sailboat to Acapulco bay. ( more to follow next week.)

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